Things I Don't Want to Forget

Well, it's back to work tomorrow. I know it is going to be hard, but I also know it will get better.

Time is moving SO fast. I feel like Logan is changing every second and I want to remember every precious moment. His first 6 weeks are such a blur to me...but here are things I never want to forget, from the past 14 wonderful weeks with my family:

• When they first put Logan on my tummy - he was SO tiny!
• The first poopy diaper at the hospital. I know, it sounds gross, but Peter and I laughed so hard because it just kept coming and coming!
  
• Peter asking the nurse, "Why does he keep crying?" during our first sleep deprived night in the hospital.
• The first night home when I pulled the pack-n-play over to the couch so I could make sure he was breathing all night.
• Peter and I slept with the bedside lamp on for a month - seriously.
  
• My dad with Logan - melts my heart every time.
  
• Grandma K's letter to us when she gave us Peter's old clothes she had knitted, for Logan to have. It was so sweet. I have an awesome mother-in-law!
  
• Setting an alarm to make sure Logan got up at night to eat. I find that hillarious now!
  
• The drowsy 2am smiles we got WAY before he started smiling for real. They made those long nights so worth it.
  
• Peter, Logan, and I all learning to breasfeed...and Peter trying to keep himself up at 4am.
• Peter's good night to Logan every night... "Good night my son."
• How happy Logan is on the changing table!
• How gigantic his clothes were in the beginning, and Peter's bright idea to put socks under his sleepers to help them fit.
• The first time he really smiled. I was holding him on my thighs on the couch...and I melted.
• "Milk Coma" smiles
• My mom assuring me a million times in the beginning - there is nothing wrong, he is fine!
• Peter cutting Logan's finger nail.
• Our first outing to Shoppers - fail!
  
• We've been to the doctor 7 times in 14 weeks...3 times in the first week!
• Our morning talks in bed, when he is all smiles and loves to stare at the fan.
• His smiles when he wakes up.
• Naps on my chest - the best.
• How much my love for my husband and son overwhelms me at times.
• How lucky and blessed I am.

I had another friend share some great wisdom with me this weekend. M reminded me that no decision ever has to be final. We stress and worry about them as if there is no going back ever...but decisions can change as time changes. We're doing what is best for us now. And I know we will be great!

3 months!

Logan turned 3 months old a few days ago. Where has the time gone? He is so much fun right now and I know it’s just going to keep getting better. He is usually a smiley, happy boy, unless he’s tired or hungry. Here are his 3 month shots!

 

He is so big that he is able to sit in his high chair now while we make dinner. He seems to really like it. He gets to be up high, a nice change from his bouncy seat on the floor!

A little unsure at first (with his new pal Sophie the Giraffe)

Deciding this looks like an okay place to play.

Watching mom and dad cook.

He also has gotten quite attached to some toys! His other current favorite, besides his o-rattle, is again, blue dog…

“Mom, don’t you dare take this from me.” Engaged in deep conversation…

Maternity leave is officially over! I’ve got so much to get ready this weekend. We’re ready to get into the new routine and see how things go!

Well...

We made our breastfeeding goal of 3 months...and we have hit a major stumbling block. Over the past week I've noticed my supply seemed down. I couldn't hear Logan swallowing as much, he was waking up a lot more at night, he wasn't gaining weight at the right rate...so yesterday I weighed him and he had actually lost 1/2 oz. Off to the doctor/lac. consultant I went...we did a weighed feed and he's only getting about 2oz. (needs more like 4) at a feeding right now. We went through a whole list of things to see what might be affecting my supply, but we could come up with nothing. I even started taking More Milk Plus last week because I knew something was up, but that hasn't made a difference. I've been pumping to try to up it, nada. Getting a lot less than I used to when I pump.

So anyway, looks like we're going to have to supplement. I am SO upset. I hated bfing in the beginning, wanted to quit every feeding for the first 4 weeks, but stuck it out and really enjoy it now. But, my body just isn't keeping up. We're going to keep at it the next few days, pumping, uping frequency of feeding, and supplementing with pumped/frozen breast milk. I'm going to get Fenugreek tablets to try and make lactation cookies...but I think he'll be getting formula soon. And I never thought formula was poison, I just hoped to continue bfing...I love the bond I feel, though I know I'll still get that with him.

The doctor really tried to help me, they are extrememly pro bfing so I trust their judgement. I was upset and she assured me that I've given him breast milk exclusively for 3 months, and that is awesome, it's the first 2-3 months that they really worry about, so we've done great. We'll be watching his weight closely the next few days and getting the extra milk to him. And this weekend we'll try him on some formula.

I go back to work Monday, so we'll see what happens...in a completely ideal world I would pump at work and get enough for him...but highly unlikely now. So I think we'll be doing formula at daycare and hopefully breast milk at home. But if we end up on all formula, it's okay.

As my dad said, this is just the first of what will be many stumbling blocks as parents. I have been so lucky to bf as long as I have, so many people can't. And, as the wonderful S and KJ reminded me last night, it will get better. Everything will always get better.

:)

Toy Time Fun

Logan is just starting to grab at things more this week. He has a few toys he really likes, including his blue dog from Miss E. and his green rattle from the B's. Today he really got into his rattle and I was able to actually catch it on video! Our little boy is getting so big! I can't wait to see what he discovers next. Oh, and I just put him down for his new "early" bedtime, he was asleep in his crib at 8pm...we'll see what that brings for tonight! :)



I must say again that I love our Flip video camera. The A's gave them to their wedding party this summer and it was a fabulous gift. Peter tends to like the other camera and it's great for longer and more technical things, but I love the flip for quick shots and for uploading things to the blog/facebook. It's so easy!

Hanging Out

Well, January is quickly coming to a close, and I go back to work on Feb. 1. I am soaking up all of my time with Logan now, and loving watching him smile and change each day. I continue to remind myself that I will still get those great smiles and to watch him grow. One of my wonderful working mom friends said it’s okay going back to work because it makes you love them even more when you pick them up in the afternoons! There are lots of positives about going back to work and those are what I’m going to remember. And I’ll have this great face to look forward to each day…

I will say I already feel like part of the unspoken battle between working and stay at home moms. I think I feel like people who stay at home are going to judge me and think I’m a bad mom for going to work. But, I know that I am doing what is best for me, my family, and our future. If anybody has any thoughts for me on all of this I’d love any advice! I am so lucky to love what I do, that and the unknown craziness of first graders will definitely help the days go quickly. I am a person who thrives on routine, staying busy, and a schedule, so I really think this is all going to be great for us.

On another note, we received a mysterious package yesterday. It was from Ms. L, and inside was a terribly offensive item, which my son begged me to put on him, traitor that he is…

This was his initial reaction… “Get this thing off of me! Changed my mind!”

Then he realized who it was from and thought “Oh wait, Ms. L? This shirt is fabulous!”

And he was happy as a clam… “Sorry mom, I love it – because I love Ms. L so much!”

Just in case you don’t know, Purdue and IU are huge rivals…L went to Purdue and was thoroughly disgusted with the IU apparel Logan had on last week, so had to show him the light… :) We’ll allow him to wear it…because she is the best!

All Smiles

Well, we’ve had an interesting weekend here. We had a great visit with E, and she got to meet Logan. In the midst of all that we got to see other great friends and there were lots of laughs all around. Logan also went out to dinner for the first time (a bit of a failure) and out to lunch (went really well). 

We also had some serious bottle drama. Logan has NEVER had a problem going between breast and bottle. He got a bottle for the first time when he was 3 days old and had lots of bottles of breast  milk the first 7 days. Since then we’ve been sure to do a bottle a week, occasionally more than that. Well, I went to give him a bottle on Sunday and he wanted NOTHING to do with it. I mean, threw a fit. Of course I freaked out. He can’t reject a bottle now, he has to go to daycare so soon! Peter got him to take just a very little bit of it. So then we decided to try a bottle at the next feeding too, and poor daddy tried that one too but it just got to be too hard to hear him cry so mom took over. I completely tricked the poor child and started him off on my nipple and then put the bottle nipple in his mouth too, then pulled mine out. He took about 2.5 oz. of the bottle, so a bit of a success.  The next feeding was the same way, but he pulled off the bottle a few times for big gulps and was able to reattach fine. This afternoon I tried again and he took it completely fine, no need to trick him at all. So, fingers crossed that he has remembered the bottle now. We will be doing one a day from here until I go to work. The baby has to eat!

Here are some adorable smiles I caught today! Sorry you have to suffer through a billion of the same picture…but the grandparents will appreciate it! :)

Tummy Time Torture

Logan has never loved tummy time. But, it’s a necessary evil. Once he really figures out how to roll over when he is flat on his tummy I don’t know  how we’ll get him to stay there! Today he wasn’t quite sure how he felt…

Hey mom! This is fun! I’m all smiles!

2 seconds later…

Why are you torturing me? And why are you taking a picture of it?

Indiana, Oh Indiana, Indiana We’re All For You…

So, who among you recognized part of the IU fight song? I sing it to Logan all the time to get him ready for his future college. Yep, his daddy is completely disagreeing with me right now. But, thanks to his wonderful Aunt S Logan has some fabulous Indiana wear to sport for the next year or so! Today he showed off his first IU shirt and was so happy!

Yep, it’s cool, I know…

I am just so excited to be wearing this great outfit! Go IU!

Saying a prayer that they win their next game.

And getting all ready to do a cheer!

Go Hoosiers! :)

Vent

So, remember one time during my pregnancy I completely just went off on this blog about people annoying me or work or some other thing that was getting to me? Well, here I go again...
**Not directed towards anyone who reads this, promise!**

I am SO OVER people asking me if Logan sleeps through the night. No, guess what, he doesn't! He sleeps a few good stretches each night but yes, he wakes up at least once (okay, that was just one time) and usually 2 or 3 times. Yes, I feed him each time because he is hungry. Yes, I am always the one who gets up because I am breastfeeding. Yes, nights like last night when he had a poopy diaper with every night feeding can be annoying...but I have a wonderful baby! While yes, I am tired, I am SO thankful I have a baby to wake up to in the middle of the night. I knew my sleep was going to take a big hit when I had a baby...and I'm okay with that! Why does everyone want to know if he sleeps through the night? I mean really, what does that tell you about my child? Do you sleep through the night? Good for you! I sure as heck don't and can't remember the last time I did, maybe when I was 10 or so? My parents would probably tell you I never have. And I'd believe them - we know I'm not a good sleeper!

In all reality, the definition of sleeping through the night is sleeping 5 - 6 hours straight. So, he actually has done that once. And my guess is it'll happen again in 5 - 6 months.

In other venting news, I went to visit work last Friday...and lots of people asked me when I was coming back. So when I told them Feb. 1 they were all like oh my, that is so soon, it's going to be so hard on you, oh no. Guess what, that doesn't make it any easier! I would love to be with Logan everyday, but am lucky enough that I get vacations and all summer with him. He is going to be okay at daycare, I am going to be okay at work (I repeat this a million times a day).

All right, vent over. In other news, we had to go to the pediatrician today because I thought we might have thrush (yeast infection from breastfeeding that would show up in his mouth or diaper area), and while he does not he does weigh 11 pounds 4 oz...HE IS A GIANT!!!! :)

Chatting with Logan

We had a great night last night...Logan was in bed asleep at 9pm, woke to eat at 1:40, Back to sleep at 2:10, slept till 6am! Then, as a bonus he went down again from 6:30 - 7:45! Now, if only his mommy could learn to sleep that well!

Here's a cute video of Logan chatting with me...it's the same one that's on facebook if you saw it there. He's becoming quite the talker!

Knock on Wood

So, every time something starts going a certain way with Logan, I feel compelled to say "Knock on Wood" when I tell people. I just don't want to jinx us. Well, apparently I haven't been saying it enough! Yesterday, for the first time ever, my son took almost a 2 hour nap in his crib. As in, I had to wake him up because the doctor suggested not letting him go more than 3 hours between feedings just so he will sleep better at night. Well, he woke up from that nap and took maybe 3 other 30 minute naps (not in his crib) during the day. Silly me, I thought oh, sleep begets sleep, right? So maybe tonight we are going to have the best night yet!

HAHAHA. Well, we do our bedtime routine and he's in his crib asleep around 9:20. I've said many times his first stretch has been around 4 hours...knock on wood. Last night? 2 hours. Up at 11:30. Up again at 1:30. Up again at 4:00. Awake when his daddy went to check on him around 5:30 with giant smiles for daddy, but mommy convinces daddy maybe he will go back to sleep...and he does. Up again at 7 for the day. Ugh. Not our finest night. However, I still don't think I can complain too much, he doesn't stay awake too long after I feed him. This mommy? That's another story. I haven't been able to get back to sleep quickly after feeding him the past few nights, and with that many times awake last night, I really didn't sleep much. Oh well.
So no, we did not have our best night last night after the long nap in the crib. But hey, there's always tonight!

Now, for your entertainment, a very short clip of our little guy rolling over for the first time. I'm not sure that it really counts since he had himself propped up and I think it was more that his head just got too heavy and he rolled over...but clearly from the excited shouts from his parents we still thought it was fabulous. I'm sure you will too!

Getting the hang of this…

So, I finally feel like I’ve got my head above water the past two weeks. Logan generally sleeps at least one four hour stretch at night and is (knock on wood) going back to sleep fairly well after his night feeds. We started our bedtime routine on Sunday and will keep pushing it back 10 minutes or so every few nights until he’s going down at 8:00. Right now it’s about 9:30, so we’ll get there!

We’ve also developed a bit more of a routine during the day, eat –play - sleep, repeat 5 or so times! He starts to get cranky after he’s been awake about 1.5 hours. He still doesn’t nap long, only about 30 – 40 minutes. He did take one nap in his crib yesterday, the others were in my arms or the swing. We’ll work on more naps in the crib since he sleeps well in there at night.

Of course, this schedule is going to possibly change completely when he goes to daycare in 6 weeks…if she can get him down for fewer naps longer…I’m up for her help!

And, this schedule could also change in 5 minutes, based on what Logan needs/wants. As one of my mommy friends reminded me,, as soon as you think you’ve got it down, it changes completely!

Hi world!

Lifting my head…

So strong! And we love the blanket KJ!

A sleepy smile…

Talking to daddy

So big!

Brrrr!!

It has certainly been a chilly start to 2010! I was so excited to take Logan out places but this weekend it has just been unbearably cold – the wind chill is somewhere in the single digits. So, instead people have come to us! We had a visit from many of our good friends on Saturday afternoon, and then Grandma and Grandpa F came to visit on Sunday. We were so lucky!

Friday Logan made his first long car trip down to Richmond to visit Grandma and Grandpa K. He did a great job on the way down and slept most of the way. We had a great time seeing everyone and Logan got to meet his aunt, uncle, and cousins. The return trip was a little rockier, and we had to stop once to feed him, but all in all he did a great job! He has really gotten so much better in his car seat. We used it so infrequently for a while since we were at home all the time, but now he is doing great and seems to really like watching everything pass by in the back window.

Ready to go out for New Years Eve! I love this dinosaur outfit!

Mommy and Logan

  Such a big boy in his first pair of jeans!

Another one in jeans cause it’s just too cute!

Logan and Mom practicing with a bottle – we do about one bottle of breast milk a week to make sure we’re ready for daycare.

Our good friends the R’s gave Logan this bib – they are ready to teach him all about professional sports teams! Thanks guys!